2001 - I thought I was going to die

2001 - I thought I was going to die

I used to be this girl that always wanted to please everybody. I’m a real empath you see, so I always felt that I could help everyone. I pushed myself to be better, to always improve and was seeking the pride in the eyes of my loved ones.

I had great confidence in my competences and ability to grow, but my own self-esteem was always so low. The number one person I didn’t have empathy for was definitely me. I used to criticize myself all the time, talking in my head in ways I would never dare to address a friend. I felt like those elastic bands that you can pull apart and stretch, I was always stretching my mind and body, never letting it rest.

One day as I was sitting in the car from work to pick up my kids, I felt a burning sensation and pain in my chest and left arm. I couldn't breathe, I felt uncomfortable and strange in my body. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Panic started to set in and I got scared. I went straight to the health center.

I still remember this nurse that appeared to me like an angel. She listened, cared for me, saw right through me. I heard her say the warm, loving words:

“Now is the time for you to take care of yourself Birgitta”

I sat there shocked and tears just rolled down my cheeks. I cried a LOT. Not because I was sad, but because I finally allowed myself to let go, to release all the tension and stress that was on my shoulder that made me feel like I had had a heart attack. It wasn't a heart attack, it was an exhausted body protesting loudly. My mind drove my body to that level of exhaustion where I really believed I was going to die.

Then a thousand thoughts ran through my head. How will it go? What's going on with the job? How will I manage to take care of the children? This was the start of my personal journey.

After that day, I went through a long period of realization. Even if I agreed that it was time to change and take care of myself, old habits die hard.

Eventually I got so sick that I had to stop my job.

I spent almost an entire year sleeping days and nights.

During that year my body and mind were suffering from intense exhaustion and the recovery was not happening.

My healing was so slow, I realized I needed more than sleep. I needed guidance.

For the first time in my life, I asked for help. I reached out to therapists and coaches, and started to be guided on my journey.

Slowly my mind went from a grey mess to relaxation. I slowly started to come to terms with my stress thanks to my one on one conversation with my guides and recovery exercises.

I discovered who I was and what I wanted.

Today when I reflect on my life’s struggles such as my sickness, I see them as a blessing. I now feel relaxed, free, happy.

Those emotions make me feel comfortable with myself, I’m grounded. Even when I have bad days, I do not stay in my mind anymore. I bounce back faster than ever, coming back to a calm state. I accept those emotions and do not feel pressured by them.

I am fulfilled. My body isn’t tired anymore, on the contrary, I am full of energy.

It’s funny to me when people ask me HOW can I have so much energy! If only they knew that they could reach that point as well…

Are you ready to start your journey towards a life with high self-esteem and unlimited energy?

Birgitta